Shout out to all my playas!  Video game playas, of course.  Gamers, if you will.  Nerds, if you won’t.  If you won’t, then suck it dry, baby; cause there’s a billion of us sun-fearing fuckers out here and we will fuck up your latte in like no time, bitch!  Of course, you’ll just make us make your latte again (if you’re not in a hurry) and tell our manager on us and then we’ll possibly be fired for...

As Cthulhu is my witness, I shall never believe Hollywood again!  Damn you, Hollywood with your movies and actors and such!  Why do you tease me with your badass trailers and your ubiquitous, annoying internet pandering towards my delight of flashy, animated ad banners? You think I’m easy, don’t you? You think I’m just gonna lay back and spread my wallet open like an oyster opening its shell hoping that it doesn’t...

Hello neighbors.  Get the hell off my lawn.  Yeah, just stand on the sidewalk.  Okay, now we can begin… Let’s talk about the uncertainty in which many live, about which many lie and of which countless more could give a shit.  Yes, my friends, I speak of the Coldplay question.   But first, let’s get it out of your system… I know you know how I’m gay and it’s because I like Coldplay.  Thank you Paul...

Man!  I forgot all about Locke!  Locke is the honeymoon bear.  Let me explain… We ran out of fuel for the grill (or it was empty before we even got started is a more accurate way of putting it); so we called the people who ran the cabin to have someone bring us some more gas.  Now, to understand how remote this cabin was, you’ll really need to picture the most narrow, none paved, steepest pitched road you can possibly think...