Holograms: Then Now How Now What Wow

When I was a kid I thought holograms were…  No, that’s a lie, isn’t it?  I’ve always thought holograms were the absolute shit.  I used to dream about holographic video games and holographic learning machines and holographic video games and, well, holographic video games.  Who hasn’t?  Probably girls, non-nerds and old folks.  But then again, maybe nerd girls and nerd old people and the nerdier of the non-nerds have as well.  Yep, that clinches it!  Everyone has wanted to play holographic video games.

That isn’t the point, though.  The point is they “resurrected” a deceased rapper and ‘he’ put on a performance.  Yep.  A “real life” hologram performance–is that an oxymoron?  Like recently.  People liked it and it raised all kinds of questions on whether the hologram would go on tour.  Would he need a bus?  Could they trust him to not party too hard?  Would his tour rider include all types of ill shit?

Incidentally, if you’ve been living in an internet free cave or simply don’t use the internet for anything other than kitty cats in clothes or porn, the rapper in question is the late, great Tupac Shakur.

I linked enough stories a paragraph or so ago for you to know ALL about this by now, so I won’t be bothered to explain further.  You’re welcome for the I-have-a-boring-job reading; I know I just gave you enough reading material to get you to your first smoke break.  Yes, yes, I rock, I know.

Moving right the hell along…

Basically, the internet exploded with everyone weighing in on hologate–HA!  I coined it, bitches!  I know, I know… I hate the GATE-suffix as well.  I can’t lie, though; it does raise some interesting questions.

Should a hologram tour?

Who would you see it if a hologram did tour?  Most people start their holo-wishlist with Nirvana, Michael Jackson, John Lennon and The Beatles, but you get the idea.

Is it really cool to make a hologram of a deceased artist, musician, political figure, etc?

Is it ethical?

Is it creepy?

Who should get paid?

Is it a money grab?

Is it fair?

You probably have thought of a few yourself by now so we’ll move on.

By the way, feel free to ask your own questions in the comments or answer the ones already presented as you see fit.  I’m interested in what you think as well as anyone else who reads my blog (HI GRANDMA!).

Moving right the feck along!

I suppose I see it from both sides…

Side one:  Meh, it’s harmless.

Side two:  Dear Cthulhu!  We’re all gonna die!!!

As a musician who is struggling to be heard and book shows and tell someone other than my grandmother that I’m alive making music, I suppose it does give a slight knee-jerk reaction that unsettles the tummy.  If there are already so many frigging bands out there that you damn near can’t book your own tours due to all the above frigging bands having booking agencies–how will it be when everyone just goes to mega concerts featuring The Beatles, Elvis, Tupac and Jesus?  Is it even a concert at that point?  Or are you just watching a movie?  Does it matter?

Is being entertained just that?  Does dancing at a club with a newly “formed” ‘N Sync comprised entirely of different ‘aged’ holograms of Justin Timberlake carry the same amount of entertainment value as seeing a real live band being the only age they can possibly be–because that’s their age?

Strokes long wisdom beard…

I believe this calls for the Chamber of Understanding!

Yeah… No closer to knowing the answer.

Sigh.

Yet, I do have a few thoughts I can phrase in a form other than a question.  Let’s delve in, shall we?  (last question for a moment, I promise)

So dig this…  As an artist/musician in this new age of the internet, I find myself social networking and just generally internet-ing more than I’d ever care to or especially care to admit.  Truthfully, I don’t love it, I really don’t.  I do it, well, because I HAVE to if I ever want to be heard.  (It’s not the people that I’ve met or meeting new people or even the people at all–it’s just… I frigging hate having to check in ANYWHERE!  I became a musician to get AWAY from set schedules and being accountable!)  Trust me, I’m working hard on getting some booking and booking more shows on my own until such time as I do have booking; but I can only play so many shows, ya dig?  Gas is expensive and I am only one person–this shit is time consuming, yo.

The point is, I come across frigging metric shit-tons of people complaining about there being no good music or about there having been no good music since -insert whatever year/band/genre was new/etc-

Is it the easy thing to say?  Well, sure!  But shit has changed rapidly and you really can’t blame people too harshly just yet.  The internet hasn’t really been around that long and people are only now really getting the hang of it.  Everything is different now.  Most people have not come around to finding their music in ways to which they are unaccustomed.  Radio is FAR less patronized then it once was and there are also literally metric shit-tons of people who lambast poor radio decrying it as corporate schlock.  Well… What do you expect?  The listener numbers have decreased in huge proportions.  They really can’t keep up and be the taste makers and all that, yada yada.

If you’re saying good riddance or anything like that–just make sure you aren’t one of the ones screaming about no new good music; also, make really sure you aren’t saying that and still listening to traditional radio!  We’ll pretend we’re all reasonable people here and say you’re not one of those.  But they ARE out there.  Some of them are very loud as well.

Now, I feel their pain; but you can’t say there’s nothing good if you don’t open your eyes and look around.  If there’s no more water in the pool, you can’t sit in the concrete hole and say how nice water used to be–you have to go find another swimming hole, dawg.

But that there is a whole nuther internet-worth full of rants, raves, opinions and reasonable discourse resulting in completely reasonable internet rage, I’m sure.

The point is, you get those folks together and when they realize they can slap down their fat rolls (of money of course) and demand a “Beatles ‘Reunion’” tour–what do you think some promoter is going to do?  Why, order his or herself a holo-band, dawg.  (I may have just coined “holo-band” as well–dibs, bitches!)

*Incidentally, I realized just now that I have not stated I have nothing but love for Snoop and Dre and Pac–I honestly didn’t have any problem with the Tupac hologram and it was really well done.  Pretty fucking cool, honestly and I thought Snoop did a great job rolling with his homie up there.  I’m sure it was a pretty cool moment for Snoop and I in no way mean to detract from that.  I’m just asking questions, ya dig?  Love to Snoop and Dre–you guys made some of the best rap albums of my childhood.  Just so you know I didn’t forget about Dre, or Snoop either.  Between those cats and Eazy, I had more albums to hide from my parents than I could keep up with most days.  Nine deuce and all that shiz.  Ahem… Sorry, I had a flashback.  OOOH!  OH!  OH SHIT!  YOUR AUNTIE CLARICE!!!!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog…

OH SHIT!!!  I CAME UP ON LOOT!!!

-Gun shot heard-

We NOW return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

Yeah.

Coolness notwithstanding and the fact that the Tupac hologram cost anywhere from $400,000 to one million dollars (depending on the blog), the question does tend to tickle the noodle–brains, people, brains… Get your minds out of the pants-region.  The internet raged that, in time, cost-prohibiting factors may become a non-issue.  Is possible, yes?  Meh.  Who knows?

I suppose, it all boils down to what you want your future to look like, not your past or your present.  Which is, has been and probably will be MY PERSONAL question to you.

What will the new classics be?

Who are the new classics?

There is, of course, no need to replace, reinvent or rework the classics.  They’re classics, for crissakes!  Hence the fucking moniker!  We don’t need another Jimi Hendrix or another John Lennon or another Mozart or another Bob Ross or another Tiny Tim.  We had them.  Their art endures.  I’m always amused when someone, some writer, some movement claims that so and so is the next or the new so and so.  What the fuck for?  Let them be the now them.  It’s all good, baby!  We’re only setting ourselves up if we really believe that there is such a thing as passing the torch.  It’s all bullshit.  The torch doesn’t get passed; it gets held until it goes out–THEN a new fucking torch is brought to light.

Nevertheless, I return to the question:  Where are the new classics?  Are we so fragmented and easily distracted and busy shouting our lunch menu from Baja Burrito on our Facebook pages that we are unable to get behind and give the arts the same level of attention from the days of Yore?  Or are we in simply in a state of flux waiting on the next Nirvana, Prince, Metallica, Dylan, Beatles, R.E.M., Stevie Ray Vaughan, Sex Pistols, Radiohead, Stone Roses, Rolling Stones, Eric Johnson, Smokey Robinson, Pavement, Pantera, Robert Johnson, Velvet Underground, Black Sabbath, Depeche Mode, Benny Goodman, Kraftwerk, Van Halen, Queen, Django Reinhardt, Bruce Springsteen, Beethoven, Ravi Shankar, Madonna, Johnny Cash, Michael Jackson, Bon Jovi, Shania Twain, Oasis/Blur (sorry, I love em both equally), Elvis (meh), New Kids On The Block, Justin Bieber, Glee and so on and so fucking forth?

Does the fact that I can name a shitload of mega-popular, mega-well know, mega-influential (mega-everything) bands/artists/musicians and so on negate my question about no “new” classics?  Or does the fact that aside from Justin Bieber and Glee (not an artist but some sort of weird American Idol-esque-”important”-’classic’-influential… ummm… thing?) none of the other artists were birthed after the labels ‘died?’

I’m now confusing myself.

This is now getting into “real blogger” territory and I honestly don’t know what to say.

But I cannot let the question die…

Are we making new classics?  Or are we sliding into a bit of a stale period where no one band/artist can make the kind of dent that the majority of my mostly-mainstream, known-to-most list has?  Question within a question:  (Inception-style, bitches)  Did the artists on my list make the kind of dent that will last?

I don’t know why, but I feel this itch that someone is going to say, “Lady Gaga” for some strange reason.  Maybe I’ve just got the L-gag’s on the mind for some reason?  Nah.  Probably just drunk on blogging beer.  Anywho… Moving right along…

If indeed you WERE thinking the G to the A to the G to the A, then let me point out… She’s really no bigger than Katy Perry or Rihanna or Chris Brown or Bruno Mars or Train with that “Soul Sister” joint.  Okay… Maybe a little bigger; but Michael Jackson big?  I think not.

So who are the new classics?

Have we information-super-highway-ed our asses into only digging what we hear on commercials?

Fact:  Many bands are now pursuing licensing.  I.E. commercials.  They are actively TRYING to write shit that will end up on a commercial.  Why?  Only way to make some fucking bread, dawg.  Sure, sure… Plenty of bands are making music they dig or want to be seen making; but the world has moved on–in the words of The Gunslinger.  Nothing is Ka-tet anymore and we’re getting to a point where if it ain’t jingle-jangly, it ain’t shit.

Here’s an old chestnut that should ruin your day unless you’ve been assimilated:

Boom.

Are we there yet?

Are we to that point where Denis Leary’s line rings true?

I’ve seen the future… You know what it is?  It’s a 47 year old virgin, sitting around in his beige pajamas drinking a banana-broccoli shake singing, “I’m an Oscar Meyer Wiener.” 

Is resistance futile?

Why the fuck should it be?  The Borg aren’t any scarier than zombies… Get some treadmills, bitches!

All joking aside…

There are a lot, a lot, A LOOOOOOTTTTTTT…. HUGE AMOUNTS… LOOOOTS!!!!

of good bands out there.  There really are.  But are there so many that their efforts are diluted?  What the fuck does a “diluted effort” mean, anyway?  How do YOU find new music?  What constitutes a “classic?”  Are people so inundated by music that they can no longer distinguish the “keepers?”  What the fuck is a “keeper” band anyway?  Who stole my taco?  What are you wearing?  Where’s my beer?  Why are you looking at me?!!

I NEED CHEESEBURGERS!!!

We apologize to everyone everywhere for everything…  Jas is normally somewhat normal and we will be monitoring him day and night.  Until then, please feel free to download his new album for FREE using the following link:   http://bit.ly/Agjn74 

Or you can simply go to www.jaspatrick.com and get whatever free music he’s offering at the time of this reading.  He always gives some music away for free so don’t bitch if the above link doesn’t work.  If you’re so far in the future that you’re jamming to commercials anyway, a four minute song will sound like Rush and early Genesis had a freaking prog-rock love child!

 

…

 

Rush and Genesis were bands that made non-made-for-commercial-music, you future dill hole… Music.  You know, MUSIC!  Stuff that didn’t include the price of some item and the phone number and the address where one can purchase the…

Oh, never mind.